Motivation after getting fired, losing friends or being betrayed

Motivation after getting fired, losing friends or being betrayed

Unhealthy motivation

We are all constantly motivated and influenced by different occurrences in our lives, But how do we determine whether the motivation and reason behind it is helpful or potentially harmful?

This subject is not black and white and one persons experience will never be the same as another's, however there are noticeable traits that we all seem to exhibit.

Lets start with the basics......... defining the reason for our actions.

Emotions....... Yep the good the bad and the ugly! So you just found out that your..... adoring... faithful partner has actually been cheating on you!

Your knee jerk reaction is fueled by mixed emotions .... abandonment..... betrayal....... confusion ......hurt....... sadness....... anger. In that hazed cocktail of emotions rational thought is difficult and often non existent.
All your nearest and dearest are plying you with advise, offering you comfort and words of wisdom. What these caring individuals are telling you is actually very valuable advise and help.
However, It is not what you want to hear and you cherry pick certain words or phrases that suit your trail of thought. (It's wise to mention here this reaction is typical in all scenarios.......getting fired.....loosing friends etc).

Once we come to terms with the abandonment/rejection our emotions generally turn to anger. This is the most dangerous period and it can last for a long time, It is one of the most destructive and harmful emotions going!
It is also the period of time when we feel most motivated.

Healthy and unhealthy motivation

Unhealthy -  I'm going to the gym to get fit, look great and make them take me back
.... The problem is that your partners cheating is often nothing to do with the way you look. Having this type motivation is keeping you anchored in dead relationship.... what happens if they don't take you back?? how do you maintain the motivation and desire to keep wanting a healthier lifestyle.

Healthy - I'm going to the gym to get fit and healthy, build my confidence and find a healthy outlet or channel for built up anxiety and anger..... I'm going to the gym for me!

Unhealthy - lets start photographing everything and posting it on Instagram, then my ex can see all the fun I'm having with out them......... chances of them actually looking at you pictures (even the naked ones!!) are very slim, and even if they do their probably not that interested!

Healthy - Go and actually have some fun instead of pretending, stay private and start working towards all those dreams that you've put off. Wasn't there that amazing job you always wanted that you are now free to go for?

Unhealthy - I'm scared of being alone or what the future holds, I will use my valuable time to text, call, email or facebook stalk my ex until they takes me back or I'll ruin their life so they
feels as miserable as me. Only then will I feel happy........ This is obsessive behavior.... stop now!!!!

Healthy - I'm scare of being alone or what the future holds..........but it's better than being with some one who doesn't respect me ..... and doesn't want me! If you can find forgiveness you can set yourself free use the situation as a life lesson... embrace the pain and find as many positive things from the experience as you can.

As I mentioned before hurtful situation are never clear cut.......But remember this simple rule to stay in a grounded and healthy motivational state of mind............Am I behaving with integrity??